Communicating and negotiating with influence is a developable art.  What you say matters and how you say it matters even more.  Words and behavior are the channels for conveying information and expressing one’s thoughts and feelings.  The result is a product of your attitude.  Speak your truth with care and compassion, avoid undermining speech habits, and you can’t help but to be influential.

Increase your impact with these three elements of influence.

• Power of the Pause. Hurried speech is the first sign of nervousness in a speaker. Listen and observe twice as much as you speak.  Take the time to speak your truth compassionately and coherently.   Replace undermining filler words and phrases such as “uh”, “um”, “right?” with a thoughtful pause.

• Continuous Courage. It takes a certain amount of confidence to communicate and negotiate with influence. Confidence is the result of acts of courage supported by a personal practice of self-compassion.  Self-deprecating speech habits are a shield.  They present themselves as pre-qualifying phrases such as, “I’m no expert, but…,” “I’m just thinking off the top of my head…,” “I could be wrong, but…” When we use them, we are trying to prep the listener in case we make a mistake and then seek their forgiveness—before even getting to the point.  No one can be right all the time.  Give yourself the grace of self-compassion.  Seek first to forgive yourself.

• Caring Conviction Leaders are in a position to use their speech to inspire and encourage others. Whether you are teaching or negotiating, others must know you mean what you say.  Would you follow you? Your words and behavior must stir the hearts and the minds of your audience for influence to ensue.  This is not the time to hedge.  Your words must show you care and are committed to the cause.  If you use words like, “Just,” “Kind of,” or “I’m sorry, but…,” then you create room for doubt in your listener.  Now is the time to say what you mean and say it with confidence.

How To Get Help Communicating and Negotiating with Influence.

It might seem that measuring your communication style will cause you to over-think.  It might feel like an impossible task to change something so ingrained to your behavior. However, the key ideas we’re talking about here are elements you can add to your style and habits you can break.

Creating change takes time, but I can help you get started and get there faster. Let’s get started with a free 30 minute coaching session to assess your style, add more effective speaking strategies, and eliminate any undermining habits.